..Struggles..

I forget sometimes that time doesn’t stop moving.  It keeps going and life keeps happening and people keep growing.  But when you seem to be stuck in one spot nothing seems to move.  Time becomes stagnant and long and never-ending.  But the people around you don’t.  Feels like you’re sitting on the sidelines watching as everyone else drifts by living their lives.  I want to reach out and grab on and ride alongside..
I went back to work in February.  From the moment I started, Gabriel has been sick three times, including two hospital visits.  My Grandma suddenly passed away.  We traveled to Regina and then Saskatoon in a two week span.  I had a sinus infection that lasted two weeks and felt like my teeth were going to fall out.  I am done.  I want my goofy boy back.  Healthy, with no runny noses, wheezy breaths or long sleepless nights.  I want to enjoy my kids and not worry if I’ll be running to the hospital again in a few week’s time.  I want to be happy and not stressed about what might be around the corner.
Staying positive is one of the toughest challenges for me.  Not that I love the negative, but it’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of unhappy thoughts and set up camp for awhile.  It’s a shift in thinking and I’m not so good at that sometimes!
How do you keep positive?  What do you do to be happy?
..struggle..
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